*John 3:1-10, Romans 8:12-17*
Is anyone familiar with Patsy Cline’s famous country song Walking After Midnight?
I go out walkin' after midnight
Out in the moonlight
Just like we used to do, I'm always walkin'
After midnight, searchin' for you
I walk for miles along the highway
Well, that's just my way
Of sayin' I love you, I'm always walkin'
After midnight, searchin' for you
I go out walkin' after midnight
Out in the moonlight
Just hopin' you may be somewhere a-walkin'
After midnight, searchin' for me
It is a song about heartache and longing, about someone who has lost their lover and is looking for them in the wee hours of the night, hoping that they might also be out there looking for them too. We’re never told why the two were separated or if they get back together, we just know that one is out there searching, searching for answers.
This morning we heard about a story that isn’t a romance like this but very much has a romantic setting to it. It is late at night where we find Nicodemus, a leader of Israel who is in Jerusalem for the Passover Feast, sneaking out into the cover of darkness hoping to secretly meet with Jesus. Very much like that Patsy Cline song, he is walkin’ after midnight out in the moonlight, hoping to find God somewhere walking in the midnight too. And like that song, he is also longing, searching, aching to discover if Jesus is a son of God. There is a sense of incompleteness that Nicodemus has, that he is trying to make whole. He is a faithful man, but he sees something holy in Jesus that he can’t quite put his finger on. He has a yearning to delve deeper, to have questions answered. He wonders if there in the middle of the night with Jesus, he might find God.
Every preacher has a ‘call’ text, a scripture that when they heard it they knew it was God calling to them. For me, this passage, John 3:1-10 is my call scripture. After hearing it, I knew I could come to Jesus with all my longing searching questions and be embraced, and that Jesus does take the time to speak with people even if it is the middle of the night. And there had been many literal nights that I had sat outside staring at stars begging for answers and experiences of God that would heal me or expand my knowledge or affirm my belief. Hearing this story, I felt a sort of solidarity with Nicodemus and in that way knew I too had permission to approach Christ just as I am. In some ways, I am sure there is a part of all of us who can relate to Nicodemus. Perhaps you too have your own experiences of staying up late with God, maybe alone at a kitchen table at 1:00am not able to sleep wondering why has this happened to you? How does it all work? Is God even real? Or maybe you’ve asked questions like this walkin’ home after midnight from a night out on the town or maybe you’ve found yourself sitting in a waiting room at all hours of the night praying and searching for God to speak with you. We can all relate to the need to bare in the quiet and secretive hours of darkness our questions, where we can be raw and honest about our search for answers and in that search hope to feel a connection to Spirit or Christ or God.
Nicodemus was the person who did venture out searching for connection and answers, and he found Jesus. Nicodemus got to ask the question that had been weighing on his mind and heart, and asked it in all his vulnerability, because there were those who would have frowned on him seeking out Jesus and asking questions, but he approached this teacher and said “clearly that Jesus is a teacher who has come from God, because no one can perform signs like him unless God was with them…right?” Then Jesus tells him yup and Nicodemus walks away with all the answers he sought. No. Jesus doesn’t give him a straight answer, he tells him that only people born from above can see the kingdom of God, those born of water and spirit. There is physical birth and there is spiritual birth, and only the spiritual birth allows you to see God. And this Spiritual birth, it moves and blows where God chooses it to, you’ll know it when it happens to you, but you’ll never know where it comes from and where it goes, so when it happens, just go with the flow and trust God. And Nicodemus is confused! He wants to know how does all of this work, how is all of this possible? To which he gets no clear answer.
And that’s another part of this story that I relate to so much because first I feel that for us too in this time and place, it is scandalous to go to Jesus for answers to our questions. Being a Christian is becoming more rare of a thing and talking to Jesus is something we don’t necessarily want to share with others because of how we might be ridiculed or looked down upon or dismissed. But even more than that, its that when we do come to church and courageously profess our faith and share questions, like Nicodemus we don’t always get clear answers. We can attend church every Sunday, or study Christianity for years, we talk with God every day, and after it all still be with left with no clear answers, can still be left confused wondering how does it all work, how is it all possible.
And perhaps that is what ties all of this together, the Nicodemus story, the idea of a Trinitarian God on this Trinity Sunday and even the Patsy Cline song, there are no clear answers at the end of our search, but here’s the thing, clear answers were never the point, it’s the searching itself and not the knowing that brings us closer to God. It’s okay to have faith and search for proof that we are children of God who need to live according to that spirit, that we are heirs in the power and glory of the resurrection, and at the same time still walk this Earth and be left wondering what all of that really means, because the good news lies in the search, where when looking, we are bound to encounter the wind. Remember, the wind blows where it chooses, you don’t know why, and you don’t know when, but you will feel its breeze upon you if you seek it. So don’t stop walkin’ after midnight, even if you don’t find the answers you’re looking for, you’re bound to encounter something.
So on this Trinity Sunday, may you be encouraged to keep searching for God while embracing God as an unknowable holy mystery. Keep reaching out to God in the midnight hours trusting that God is sitting there with you. Know that somehow, just by seeking, God glorifies you in love. Thanks be to God for this unfathomable gift of late-night encounters. Amen.
-Cynthia Reynolds
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